Damn You, Capt. Sully! Damn You!

Claude, Jacques, and Chicco, who was from down by Detroit, had often seen the lights of NYC. They had smelled (longingly) the aroma of discarded street-vendor pretzels. And, most of all, they had admired the ladies of Central Park, what with their extra-sassy NYC waddles. All of this happened, of course, on their bi-annual sojourns over The Empire State whilst heading in a southerly direction (South Beach here we come!) or in a northerly direction (Chicco always a few feathers less than when he arrived in Florida).

Though the three geese were street wise and tough, they had always taken seriously the stories they heard about "the ones" who simply vanished while flying over New York City. Occasionaly a feather would be found or, God forbid, a piece of webbed foot. Frankly, Claude, Jacques, and Chicco found the stories too frightening to speak of. It was just understood: NYC was a no-fly zone. Sometimes at night, however, Jacques would find himself unable to sleep and his thoughts would wander to that dark place. Where had those geese gone? How could they vanish entirely (or, almost entirely)? It was a mystery Jacques simply could not let go. He needed to know.

Jacques had decided that this was the year he would Goose-up and enter the city that called to him. (Besides, he figured no risk was too great if in allowed him to have even a chance at those CP ladies. He had heard tale of their abilities to...well, we'll save that for another story.) Claude and Chicco were not surprised when Jacques revealed his quest to them. Throughout their time in South Beach Jacques had been quite distracted, lacking his usual interest in recovering fallen churros and pursuing las gansas. Mostly Jacques spent his days walking alone on the beach, revealing nothing to his friends.

Needless to say, it took Jacques a great deal of effort to convince Claude and Chicco to join him in his quest for the truth. In fact, he was only able to persuade them by bribing them with large quanities of Kentucky bluegrass, a delicacy in the goose world. It was a bribe, however, that would go unpaid.

As New Jersey approched the three geese steeled themselves for entering this unknown world, a world full of questions and, possibly, death. Claude and Chicco tried to convince Jacques to let them stop in Central Park first, thinking that, if they died, at least they would have had one night with the ladies of CP. Jacques, however, was adamant. The mystery was to be solved before partaking in any "tourism" activities.

The three geese followed the route of the New Jersey Turnpike, turning east in NYC via the Lincoln Tunnel. As they approached the city they noticed what appeared to be massive white, colorfully adorned birds. The birds were unusual in a number of ways, but especially the noise they made. Jacques, Claude, and Chicco were terrified at first, thinking that they had solved the mystery and their deaths were imminent. However, after flying near several of these beasts of the air, the three were still alive and flying high.

Jacques had heard that a number of the disappearances had happened near the Hudson River. He guided his buddies down to the ground, stopping in Hells Kitchen to ask some rough-looking birds where exactly he should be looking for answers. Information doesn't come easily in Hells Kitchen. Let's just say there were mentions of pate. However, with more than a little cunning and a few evasive maneuvers, the boys were able to get the information they needed. Directions firmly in beak, the geese flew towards the North River Piers.

Sadly, this is where our story must end, as no more information concerning the whereabouts of Jacques, Claude, and Chicco is available. It is this author's hope that the three geese are enjoying themselves somewhere on the Upper East Side, near Central Park.

In an unrelated event, a US Airways flight ditched in the Hudson River the same day the geese were seen in Hells Kitchen. It is likely the birds got an intimate view of the exciting event!