So, this morning my rockin' cats, Harper and Dylan, woke me up at 3:45am, 'cause that's what they do. I guess it doesn't matter what size your belly is, it doesn't like to be empty. So, I got up to give them a treat before their scheduled 8am feeding. While up I realized that I too was a little hungry, understandably so, since I had last eaten 9 hours ago. So after feeding the cats I opened the pantry door and weighed my options, pretty sure I was heading for the Honey Nut Cheerios. But next to the Honey Nut Cheerios was a box of Lorna Doone 100 Calorie Snack Packs. And I thought to myself, "I wish my name was Lorna Doone." While this thought did not sway me from my Honey Nut Cheerios, it did alarm me a bit. As poured and ate my cereal I had an internal debate with myself. My first thought was, "What?! Why would you want your name to be Lorna Doone?" "Well," I replied to myself (and you know each of you all have these internal dialogues going on in your head...and if you don't, don't tell me), "if my name was Lorna Doone, every time someone said 'Oh, I love Lorna Doones!' they would think fondly of me." But then I thought, "Yeah, but how often do you hear someone say, 'Oh, I love Lorna Doones!'? Not all that often. So, you should totally go for something like Oreo. Because people say 'Oh, I love Oreos!' all the time, right?" (Just tonight Andy reported that Double Stuff Oreos were served at the Massanetta enabler party. His exact words: "Mmm. Double Stuff Oreos.")
All this got me to thinking about names and what it would be like to have a food for a name. Like Reese Witherspoon. Do you think she was picked on as a kid for sharing the same name as a candy? (Or maybe she was always too beautiful and rich to be made fun of...probably not.) And I suppose most of us have heard the urban legend/joke about the twins name Orangejello and Lemonjello. I imagine if that was real, they would have been picked on. And what about Apple Martin, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin's daughter. Do you think having those parents will prevent kids from teasing her for sharing her first name with a fruit? Maybe, but I don't think so.
I suppose, in the end, I should be thankful that my name isn't Lorna Doone, because then I would be Lorna Doone Soileau (pronounced "swallow") and that is just misery waiting to happen. (Soileau was/is a tough name to go through life with without my first name being a food!)
But I guess, ultimately, the real point of this story is that, should you find yourself awake at 3:45 in the morning, do everything you can to avoid the kitchen and go back to sleep.
