Baby Class #1

Wednesday evening Andy and I attended the first of our six baby classes, or more formally, our Childbirth and Newborn Care Class. I have been looking forward to these for a while. Information makes me feel more comfortable and thus less likely to freak out. (The likelihood that I will freak out to some degree is still pretty good, but perhaps the severity of the freak out will be lessened.) So, my theory was that 12-hours of information and training would be a good thing.

Well, a funny thing happened: the information completely overwhelmed me! We have a “textbook” that is guiding our class and it was just too dang much for me to take in at one time. The teacher was great and the tone of the class was completely relaxed, but I got home and was all in a tizzy (post-Law and Order, anyway). I recognize that pushing an 8-pound being through a hole that I am not yet convinced is designed for that is a big deal, but I am pretty sure that I was inappropriately freaked out. I’ve got knots in my stomach even as I write about it.

Additionally, at the end of the class we began practicing our relaxation techniques. There was some guided meditation, some breathing (which, as you know, is always a positive), some muscle tensing and relaxing, and other such activities. We were sent home with the instructions to practice in the days prior to our next class with the idea being that the more familiar we are with these techniques when actual labor occurs we will be able to call up the skills more easily. So, naturally, I am now freaking out about not being able to do the relaxation techniques correctly and thus, not having them in my arsenal when I need them. I mean, seriously, what kind of overly anxious person am I? I need to relax about my relaxation techniques! What the hell?!?!?

I also learned some anatomical stuff that explains some pain I have been having and, somehow, learning the cause has made it worse. When a woman is pregnant the hormones in her body cause all the joints to loosen so that all the necessary parts are as flexible and malleable as they need to be when the baby comes. This is particularly true of the pelvis and the pubic bone (pubis). Well, I have been having some pretty rockin’ pain in the pubic bone. I asked the teacher about it and she informed me that the bone can become so loose that the two pieces actually start to pull away from one another and the cartilage (or whatever that is) that connects the two halves. In short, my dear, sweet daughter’s exit location hurts…a lot.

In light of all this I guess there are two options. One, I can ignore the book and the practicing and hope that the doctors just cut me open and take her out. (Honestly, this option looks pretty good right now.) Or, I can take baby steps (ha! baby steps) and take things as they come, concentrating only on what we have covered in thus far in class. I guess this is the option I should go with.

Maybe I should make an appointment with the therapist too.